When I was a kid I used to dread the “pressure situation.” For anyone that has ever performed or competed in anything, you know what I’m talking about. This is the runner on third, two outs, bottom of the ninth, down by one sort of thing. These situations have no grey area, you either win or you lose, it’s all riding on this, the whole team is counting on you, and everyone’s watching.
Remind you of a time in your life?
Maybe it was years ago or maybe it was earlier today, but we have all experienced the anxiety and fear that comes in pressure situations. Our mind wanders, exploring all the potential ways we could fail and how much we would let everyone down.
Now let’s for a minute imagine this is not an athletics scenario. Let’s really stretch our imagination and picture a time where that big potential client is sitting across the table or you sit down to interview for the job of your dreams. Maybe it’s more dire and you need to secure this sale or contract in order to pay your mortgage or feed your family. Can you feel your heart rate begin to rise or the sweat begin to bead under your arms? Can you hear your breathing speed up or your foot begin to nervously fidget?
Pressure situations are around every turn and the truth is: Our success is often determined by our performance in these situations. But how do the great ones deal with the pressure?
They don’t.
There is a secret that has been kept from most people for their entire lives. It is a secret that separates not only the winners from the losers but it also separates the good from the great. Pressure situations are stemmed from fear. Fear of failure, humiliation, and embarrassment. Pressure is a direct function of insecurity and doubt. Pressure is not a tangible, measurable, or quantifiable force. Pressure is a mindset. Pressure is a choice.
In life, we are constantly presented with situations. Each situation presents an opportunity to make a choice. We can choose to look at the situation in a positive or a negative light. In the situations that carry the most weight, it is easy to choose the latter. The fear of the negative outcome. Trying not to screw up. Playing not to lose instead of playing to win.
In the exact same situations, we could choose to see the positive, the opportunity to succeed, the chance to display our talents, abilities, and hard work.
This is a choice. This is a mindset.
Why is there a choice in this situation? Because PRESSURE IS NOT REAL.
Pressure is a creation of our imagination. It is the conglomeration of years of negative messaging, insecurity, self-doubt, and fear.
The exact same situations I described previously as pressure packed, ominous situations are the same ones where heroes are born. The situations with the most to lose and the most eyes watching are the same ones with the most to gain. But the fact remains, they are just situations. Pressure is self-imposed.
But why would anyone choose pressure in a situation?
Doubt.
The root of this doubt can come from any number of things. Maybe you did not prepare like you know you should have. Maybe people have always told you that you aren’t good enough. Maybe you are not feeling as well as you normally do. Maybe you know your competitors are just better than you. Maybe you really don’t believe you’re that good or you think you’re underqualified. Maybe you’ve never been in this situation before. Doubt creates fear, uncertainty, and anxiety - the trifecta for anyone bound for failure.
“If you are afraid to fail you will never do the things you are capable of doing.” John Wooden
When situations get larger, with more riding on them and more people watching, doubt makes its way to the front of our mind. Sometimes this is a deep rooted feeling of inadequacy from a childhood experience, sometimes it is a learned behavior from coaches and teammates, sometimes it is just sincere concern that we are not enough.
There is one constant among the sea of reasons for doubt, and that is a misunderstanding of failure.
Failure is not an identity, it is an event.
Read that again.
Failure is not an identity, it is an event.
One failure does not make you a failure. 1,000 failures does not make you a failure. In fact, I would argue that the more opportunities you have to fail in big situations, the more successful you really are. If you keep finding yourself in “pressure” situations over and over and over again even after you have failed over and over and over again, that means you are successful.
Wait, what?
The more I fail the more successful I am? Yes.
Do not confuse success with luck. Success is a long game, driven by consistency, intentionality, and perseverance. Luck is sporadic, inconsistent, and accidental. Success requires vulnerability and accountability while luck only requires that you show up.
Think of the most clutch performer you can imagine. If I had to guess, I would say 90% of you thought of Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, or Derek Jeter. These are the guys that have ice water in their veins. The bigger the moment the better they play. True winners.
They are also the best at failing.
MJ missed 55% of his game winning shot attempts.
Kobe? He missed 75% of his game winners.
Tiger has lost 257 tournaments. That’s 87.2% of the time.
Jeter made 450 outs in the playoffs, failing to reach base 62.6% of the time.
The greatest of all time, universally recognized as being clutch players, these four athletes all failed MOST OF THE TIME. And this is not because of a small sample size, they all had long, illustrious careers and failed repeatedly. They failed more frequently, more consistently, for a longer period of time than anyone to ever play their sports.
This makes them winners.
They were not afraid of the big moment. They were not discouraged by failure. Instead, they showed up every day in pursuit of those exact moments. They were models of consistent and intentional hard work combined with endless perseverance. They had an unquenchable thirst for the big moment and they were more than willing to stumble and fail along the way to earn the opportunity to succeed.
Next time you find yourself in a “pressure” situation, enter it with a grateful heart and remember three things:
Pressure is not real. Your mindset is a choice.
Failure is an event not an identity. It does not define you, it refines you.
This moment is simply an opportunity to shine. Embrace it.
Every situation in life offers us a choice. We can choose to see pressure or opportunity. If we begin to truly believe that pressure is not real and we start to understand that failure is not an identity, doubt and fear disappears. The only thing left is the excitement of the possibilities the situation presents.
This is a mindset. Your mindset is a choice. Choose wisely.
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