Do you know those people that have everything figured out? They make a bunch of money, their house is always clean, their kids are well behaved, their car is always washed, their hair is always done. You know the type, the Instagram family. The best of everything, always happy, always put together, just cruising through life while the rest of us are just trying to stay afloat.
Here’s the truth – Life is messy.
No matter the façade that someone puts up, life is messy and life does not discriminate.
That’s not to say that some people are not happier, more successful, more organized, or more fulfilled than the next person. I’m also not saying that it’s hopeless and life will never get any better. What I am saying is your expectations for life should include some mess.
Here’s why: People are complex creatures and we are living in the most complex, fast paced time in history. The amount of information, entertainment, and distractions available in any given moment is mindboggling. It has never been easier to create a mess in our lives. It has also never been easier to either fixate on or ignore that mess.
Our mess can be with our relationships or our marriage, our work or finances, our physical or mental health, our faith or beliefs, or our habits or routines.
The mess can be in multiple places all at the same time, but we tend to focus most on the area of our mess that overlaps with our insecurities.
One of my favorite sayings is: The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. My messy translation would read: The mess is not cleaner on the other side, it’s cleaner where you sweep, scrub, polish, organize, and continuously maintain it.
As a parent might say, that mess isn’t going to clean up itself. It is our job to do the hard work of cleaning up our mess. Then organizing, maintaining, and improving the mess.
My house comes to mind. Our house is “lived in,” therefore we have a mess. The mess is sometimes big, sometimes its small, but we have to constantly clean up the mess in order to enjoy the full beauty of our home. If we stop putting in the work to clean and organize the mess, we do not get the full enjoyment out of our home. It takes effort to keep things organized and running smoothly in our home. The same goes for our marriage, our work, our finances, our health, and our faith.
Mess is expected but not accepted.
Let’s look at marriage. A marriage will never be flawless. You know why? Humans are involved. Two humans, with their own unique baggage, leaning on one another until one (or both) step away or let the other one down. Then you add into the mix kids, in-laws, parents, siblings, finances, politics, beliefs, and things can get a little bit…messy.
Then throw in the ability to look around at those around you and on social media and see how happy everyone else is all the time. It is easy to get disenchanted with your spouse.
Maybe it’s not your marriage, maybe its your finances. You see everyone flaunting their wealth and wonder, what am I doing wrong? Why don’t I have the bigger house, the nicer car, the name brand clothing. Why can’t I afford that school, the nanny, or the country club? Suddenly, your contentment is gone because of this game of comparison.
Here’s the issue: You are comparing your entire mess to someone else’s highlight reel. Stop doing that!
Everyone has a mess. Some people hide it in front of others, but everyone has a mess. That’s life.
Life is not made up of straight lines. Life is full of zig zags, eraser marks, scribbles, and doodles.
Your perspective on the mess determines if it is art, or junk.
What’s my perspective? God is in control and He is good. I can do my part but the outcome is not in my control. (Read Control). I can choose to be hopeful and optimistic. I can choose to be joyful and faithful. I can choose to be understanding and forgiving. I can do my very best, put in all the work, and relinquish the outcome to God’s plan for my life.
If you are struggling with the messiness of your life. If you find yourself discontent, discouraged, or down, perhaps it is time to shift the focus off of your mess, off of everyone else’s highlight reel, and onto something greater than yourself.
When was the last time you were in church? When was the last time you volunteered somewhere? When was the last time you served someone? When was the last time you read your Bible or prayed?
These questions are not to make you feel bad. They are to point out what may be missing that is causing your mess to feel extra messy.
Serving someone in need provides a much different perspective then stewing over how you stack up to the Jones’s. (Read Self Help)
Of course, sometimes you need to clean up your mess, it will not just go away. Yet, sometimes you need to shift your perspective. Adjusting your focus from comparison and negativity, to serving God and serving others makes it nearly impossible to dwell on your mess.
Life will always be messy. Is your mess a little too messy? Clean it up. Are you stuck in the comparison trap? Shift your focus. Is your perspective too negative or selfish? Serve someone else. Are you feeling down or hopeless? Pursue God.
Your mess is a masterpiece. Don’t forget that.
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