As a child, dreams are not something we try for. We don’t think long and hard when we are six about what we want to be when we grow up or how we are going to change the world. Dreaming is part of everyday life. A regular occurrence. Normal. Accepted. Encouraged. Celebrated.
A child’s first elevator pitch is their response to, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Every child has a precooked, locked and loaded response for that very question. This is their chance to share their most recent dreams. What’s more, people are actually interested in listening. No matter how outlandish or naïve the goal, people listen close and offer a sincere word of encouragement or at the very least an “Atta boy” and a pat on the back.
What happens between ages 6 and 26?
Time tells us that 20 years passes. But who made the executive decision that 26-year-olds don’t need any “Go get ‘em’s” anymore? Ask anyone on the north side of 26 if they had life all figured out at that age. My (un)official and (un)audited straw poll indicates that 10 out of 10 adults age 26+ believe they did not have it all figured out by age 26.
So where did the unanimous childhood support for our dreams go? Who robbed us of our God given right to dream big and feverishly pursue our ambitions? Why don’t we encourage one another anymore? What happened to our dreams?
Some might say this is part of becoming an adult. Some would argue the responsibilities of life take over. Others may say there’s no time to “waste” on dreams that will never happen.
That last one makes me the most sad.
Time pursuing your dreams, or even dreaming your dreams, is NOT TIME WASTED.
Here’s a spoiler, dreams don’t offer a signing bonus or guaranteed contracts. Dreams are 100% incentive laden deals and you had better love what you’re doing because the conditions are rough. We’re talking Red Roof Inn in Batavia with bed bugs and blood stains rough. This was an actual stop in my journey through the minors. But when I made that stop during my baseball career, I was not met with ridicule; instead I was encouraged that this was part of the journey, I was growing from my struggles and difficult circumstances, and to keep pursing my dream of Major League Baseball no matter the cost.
Imagine making less than minimum wage, living in horrible hotels, riding a bus from Podunk town to Podunk town in pursuit of your dream to become a janitor. Would that alter the level of support you received from those around you? Of course it would. Why? Because people would not accept your dream as an appropriate dream.
Since when does your dream need to fit into anyone else’s agenda?
Apparently this happens sometime between your 6th and 26th birthday.
Once we begin losing support for our dreams, we slowly begin losing our ability to dream. Once it becomes harder to dream, we begin to lose our desire to dream. We then look for the “acceptable” next steps. The safe and predictable career path. The choices that are not going to ruffle any feathers.
I recently decided to dream again. Let me tell you, it is not as easy as it sounds.
I have this big dream inside me, this ambition and desire to do something great. Even as I type this, I find myself wanting to tap dance around communicating it. I’m afraid of what people might think. I’m afraid of sounding dumb. I’m afraid of looking foolish. I’m afraid I’ll fail.
These are all lies from the pit of hell.
Every day I have a choice to listen to the garbage that tells me that’s a waste of time and you’ll never make it. Admittedly, sometimes I entertain those thoughts and give in to the idea that I’m not qualified and I should just shut it down and play it safe. Who would listen to you anyway? Why do they care what you think? What do you have to offer…
Encouragement.
That’s my big dream. With all the risks, all the vulnerability, all the insecurity, I’m making my dream known. My dream is to encourage those around me. Specifically, I want to encourage men to be better every day.
It’s a simple dream but a scary one. It involves putting myself out there, sharing my experiences, failures, and fears. It involves empathy and compassion. It involves time and energy. Most of all, it REQUIRES realness.
Thankfully, perfection is not on the list. I do not have all the answers, I am not always right, and everything I have learned has come by way of failure. I believe the path to success is paved by repeated failure and adjustment. I believe we will never truly have life figured out. I believe we are all gifted uniquely and our potential is still on the horizon. I believe every day is a fresh start and mercies are new every morning. I believe life is a team game. I believe we need encouragement. I believe we need to dream.
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